El Jefe says marriage is over-rated
Summer has already begun to take a heavy toll on my flagging constitution.... - El Jefe
The past few months have been littered with wedding after wedding, leaving my throat sore from idle bridesmaid chit-chat, my cheeks sore from inevitable slaps and a visit to the local quack, who has me popping ibuprofen like they are tic tacs to medicate my swollen air-guitar arm.
Many of my erstwhile friends have been foolish enough to tie themselves down to ladies whose ultimate goal is to slowly remove their testicles.
This morning, I even began to ponder my reflection in the mirror. And, I’m sorry ladies, there is no denying the fact that my professional darts player-esque physique is slowly heading south. Lounging covertly in my cubicle today, I felt a tad more worse for wear than usual. In desperate need of some serious R&R, I released myself so that I could totter off for one of my many daily siestas. Today the floor under the boardroom desk seemed to hit the spot. One thought often cheers me up in these situations: the fact that my freedom is intact and I remain young, single and a menace to young ladies’ society is always a pick-me-up. Many of my erstwhile friends have been foolish enough to tie themselves down to ladies whose ultimate goal is to slowly remove their testicles.
This process has even been televised. Today, one can watch Jodie Marsh’s hunt to emasculate an innocent man. She plans to wobble around the UK touting her hatchet nosed mug, until she finds some poor sod drunk enough to pop the question. Personally, I can think of nothing worse that waking up to the marital machinations of this big boobed harlot. Chaps please take note: By remaining single and care free one can really appreciate the true meaning of marriage…a big drunken party loosely disguised by a “wedding ceremony”. However, if you do find the right, small group of Swedish playboy models having a jelly fight, you may justifiably feel that your marital status could be swayed.
